Reconciling Your Self Value

Beneath the clouds, water desires only to flow, and beneath our tensions and problems, the human spirit only wants to embrace and soften.

Mark Nepo

I want to create a more sustainable routine. I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like, and I’m still trying to find the beauty in the journey of finding it.

I haven’t written anything worth publishing in a long time and I’d be definitely lying if I didn’t feel some type of way about it. It makes me feel negative about myself. The more I’ve investigated this secret shame, the more I’ve realized that I unconsciously gain my worth based on my writing.

I need to reconcile my self-value as it relates to my writing.

I know that it is true that God has given us our value based on his image within us. Which opens up a new possibility, doesn’t it?

Looking out the window, I can see a dandelion that has gone to seed next to a peony with a baby bud readying to open. Both of these organisms have a place within the ecosystem right outside my window. Besides the value of their beauty, they have so much more value to the insects that they feed, the countless numbers of organisms they contribute to as they move up the food chain.

The dandelion attracts bees who first awaken in the spring, while the peony will attract the ants who will work together to open her buds. And all of that value lives within a cycle that today, just looks like a dandelion standing in the grass next to a peony.

Some days we stand still. Some seasons we lay dormant.

We live in an infinitely complex cycle that was created by a beautifully creative God.